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Life in the Gap — the hangover from hell, and how you get through it

By Michael P. Lennon — Where lived experience finds it's voice...

The bit nobody prepares you for

There’s a part of mental health nobody warns you about.

It’s not the crisis.
And it’s not the relief of getting help.

It’s what comes after.

When the danger has passed.
The professionals step back.
And you’re left standing in your own life again, wondering what the hell just happened.

That place has a name.

The Gap.

Let’s get this out of the way first: you are not alone.

It probably doesn’t feel true right now. I know that feeling. But it is true.

https://www.mindspireblogs.co.uk/2025/11/this-international-mens-day-im-finally.html?m=1

The hangover from hell (post-crisis reality)

When the crisis ends, people think you’re “better”.

You’re not.

You’re steadier.
You’re safer.
But you’re also left with:

  • Exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix
  • Regret that sneaks up on you
  • Decisions made while unwell
  • A life that didn’t pause while you were gone

Bills still arrive.
Relationships don’t reset.
Confidence doesn’t magically return.

It’s like the worst hangover of your life —
except it’s emotional, and there’s no fry-up that sorts it.

If you’re reading this and thinking “this is me”

Good.

You don’t need to be:

  • rock bottom
  • diagnosed
  • falling apart in public

to need help.

If life feels heavy, messy, numb, or out of control — that counts.

Mental health doesn’t always look like sadness.
Sometimes it looks like confidence with no brakes.
Sometimes it looks like silence.
Sometimes it looks like “I’m fine” said too often.

First things first — this matters

If you’re not safe right now
or you think you might do something you can’t undo—

Stop reading. Pick up the phone.

That’s not drama.
That’s you staying alive.

A quick word about what people think

Here’s the uncomfortable truth:

People are going to think whatever they want anyway.

Some will respect it.
Some won’t get it.
Some will nod kindly… then tell a different version down the pub.

That’s life.

If you wait until everyone agrees you’re doing the right thing, you’ll be waiting forever — tired, anxious, and over-explaining yourself.

What I’ve learned:

  • The people who matter don’t need convincing
  • The people who gossip were never your audience
  • The loudest opinions come from people who’ve never sat alone with their own head at 3am

Recovery doesn’t look impressive.
It looks boring. Repetitive. Unsexy.

That’s how you know it’s real.

What actually helps in the Gap

Not theory. Not slogans. Real things.

One honest sentence

You don’t need a speech.

“I’m not coping, and I need help I need time to pay or I can't pay it.”

That opens doors.

Your GP

They’re the front door to everything else — mental health teams, counselling, addiction support.

You don’t need perfect words.
You just need to show up.

If addiction is part of it

You don’t have to quit forever today.
You just need support now.

No judgement.
No clipboards.
Just people who get it.

If talking feels impossible

Put in your postcode.
Local help shows up.

Typing is enough.

After hospital or crisis care

This is the hardest bit.

Inside = structure.
Outside = noise, pressure, decisions.

Go slow.

  • One letter at a time
  • One decision a day
  • No big promises
  • No heroic plans

Staying steady beats looking impressive.

Every time.

Final word — from the Gap

If you’re still here, reading this, you’re doing better than you think.

You don’t need to have it figured out.
You don’t need to explain yourself.
You don’t need to rush recovery.

You just need to stay.

Help is possible.
The fog does lift.
This hangover does pass.

One step is enough.

UK & Ireland support (save this)

Disclaimer

This blog is based on lived experience and personal reflection.
It is not medical advice.
If you are struggling or in crisis, contact your GP, local mental health services, or emergency services immediately.


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