The Gap — Where Most of Us Actually Live

We talk about mental health like it’s a straight line — you’re either unwell or you’re better, broken or healed, lost or found.

But the truth? Most of life happens somewhere in between.  That space — between falling apart and feeling okay again — is what I call the gap.

The gap is quiet, messy, and painfully ordinary.

It’s when you’ve stopped falling, but you’re not quite standing yet. You’re showing up — at work, at home, in conversation — but part of you is still trying to piece together what broke.

You laugh again, but it doesn’t always reach your eyes. You sleep, but not peacefully. You’re functioning, but not fully living.

For me, the gap began the day I left hospital and came home.

It was the realisation that while I’d been focused on surviving, life outside had kept moving — and not kindly.

Missed credit card payments, letters piling up, the car finance in arrears, and that constant dread of what’s going to come through the door next?

The medication had started to work, my mental health was stabilising, but that’s when the hangover hit — not from alcohol, but from the aftermath of it all.

The chaos didn’t stop when I got better; it just changed shape.

And here’s the thing about the gap — no one’s coming with a magic wand to fix it.

No one’s going to wave away the debt, the missed payments, or the stress that follows. The bills still need paid, the letters keep coming, and reality doesn’t stop just because you’ve been unwell.

But understand this: if you haven’t got it, you can’t pay it — and no one can take knickers off a bare arse.

It took me a long time to realise that one honest phone call to a company like PayPal or the bank can do more good than weeks of panicking in silence.

The world won’t end because you asked for help — but your peace of mind might just begin to rebuild.

This is the hardest part of recovery — because no one celebrates it, and few understand it.

When you’re in crisis, people notice. When you’re “better,” they applaud.

But in the middle, when you’re surviving on small steps and silent courage, the world tends to look away.

Yet this is where real healing happens — not in grand breakthroughs, but in the everyday choice to keep going.

To answer the phone when you’d rather disappear.

To take a walk instead of giving up.

To reach out, even when you’re sure no one will understand.

The gap is uncomfortable because it forces us to live with uncertainty.

You’re not who you were before, but you’re not who you’ll become either.

It’s a waiting room between pain and peace — and it demands patience, faith, and brutal honesty.

But here’s the thing: being in the gap doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It means you’re rebuilding — slowly, quietly, and with more strength than you realise.

Progress in this space doesn’t shout; it whispers. It looks like survival, but it’s growth.

So if you’re there right now — half healed, half hurting — you’re not behind.

You’re just in the gap. And that’s still progress.

Need a hand? Real support, right when you need it, and right where you are.

Check these out:

https://hubofhope.co.uk/

https://www.mind.org.uk/

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

https://www.rethink.org/

https://www.mentalhealth-uk.org/

#Mindspire #TheGap #MentalHealthAwareness #RecoveryJourney #Hope #Healing #KeepGoing #LivedExperience #RealTalk #HumanNotPerfect